


Dicks unseen

by AlphaSara



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 13:57:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5419622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlphaSara/pseuds/AlphaSara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr prompt for:" We're dating now and things are great. But few years ago I had a random hook up with this guy at a party and he did things to my ass that made my eyes water"<br/>...............<br/>OH MY GOD, THAT WAS YOU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dicks unseen

**Author's Note:**

> My mostest amazing friend Mia had an idea.   
> "How about I write 400 words then you put 400 words and then someone else puts 400 words and we play this Sterek game"   
> In the end only the two of us pitched in but I love it!!!   
> So HALF THE CREDIT GOES TO AMAZING MIA AND HER CRAZY TALENT <3

“But doesn’t it bother you?” Erica said around a mouthful as they entered the lunchroom.   
“Not really” Derek indulged her, taking a piece of his salad. “What does bother me is Stiles making a big deal out of eating healthier “ he rolled his eyes.   
“Come on, really? Not even a little?” she probed.   
“Erica, I already told you, no. It really doesn’t bother me” 

“What doesn’t bother you?” Isaac and Boy joined them.   
“That the only dick he saw in his life is Stiles’. And his own” she smiled like the she devil she is.   
“The only dick you saw in your life is mine” Boyd said with a bored expression. “I don’t see you going around contemplating your life choices”   
“Yes but you two have been dating since high school AND were each other’s first. Which is a whole new ball park. I mean” , Isaac waved Jackson and Lydia over “ we all know about Stiles’ escapades cause he was very vocal about sharing them before he finally pulled his head out of his ass and figured out that what he really wants is this brooding lump of manpain”   
“Why am I friends with you?” 

“Cause we’re the only one that saw through your brooding manpain, you lump” Lydia placed a kiss on his cheek. “What are we talking about?”   
“Derek’s non existing sex life” other girl informed.   
“Non existent?” Jackson bleached. “You pulled up a chair to their doors last week and taped them”   
“ I KNEWTHAT WAS YOU!” Derek gritted. ”I’m not kidding Erica, I want that thing destroyed. “   
“Oh relax, you prude.” 

“Can we please talk about something other than Derek and Stiles’ sex noises?” Isaac begged.   
“Yes, please, I beg of you, I’m getting images” Jackson joined in.   
“If you want images , I have it on tape” Erica jumped in her chair.   
“God damn it, Erica!”   
Boyd leaned over to his best friend. “I deleted that, don’t worry. And you know this would all go away if you just told them about *that* night” Boyd eyed him knowingly.   
“But come to think about it” Lydia tilted her head, “you do have shockingly little experience for a guy of your league”   
“A guy of his league?” her boyfriend sounded offended. 

 

“Tall, dark, handsome” Lydia started.   
“Smart, rich, charming” Isaac added.   
“Funny, kind, generous” Boyd followed.   
“Hot as the fucking burning sun” Erica finished.   
“So I think Erica’s probing is pretty spot on. Why don’t you have more notches on your bedpost” redhead asked. “I mean other than the dead high school girlfriend, psycho that tried to kill your family and that crazy chemist that once drugged you. “ 

Derek just gave her appointed look.   
“Never mind, I just answered my own question” she sighed. “So, anyone up for a movie night?”   
__________________________________________________  
Despite his protests movie night was voted in and as usual it was held in his and Stiles’ apartment because “you guys have surround sound” “your screen is the biggest” “your couch is the comfiest one” but in reality it was because everyone else was too lazy to clean up afterwards.

After a quick debate over what to watch the majority voted in Nightcrawler and they settled to watch the weird movie while talking over it and each other constantly. Stiles was cuddled under his arm and smelling of the cookies he baked for the night and for the millionth time since they got together Derek wondered how the hell he got so lucky. He placed a soft kiss to the top of Stiles’ messy hair and smiled when he wiggled to get closer to him.  
“So, Stiles…we had an interesting conversation today at lunch.” Erica said during a lull in the movie plot as she smirked at Derek who just wanted to strangle her so badly.

“Erica…” Boyd tried to steer her off her path but Stiles was already perking up at the possible gossip or an interesting new piece of information he might learn. He was like a little child sometimes. Too curious for his own good.  
“Yup…about dicks.” Erica said with something resembling jazz hands and Stiles clapped in excitement.  
“My favorite subject.”   
“Your dick, in particular.” Erica pointed out and Stiles shrugged.  
“My second favorite topic then. Now if you had talked about Derek’s dick…that’d be the first.” He nodded and Derek groaned asking all the gods he knew of what he did to deserve friends like these and a loudmouth boyfriend like his.

 

“We were wondering if he was bothered by the fact that your dick is the only one he saw apart from his own.” She said and Stiles pouted.  
“HEeeeey…why would he be bothered by the fact that the only dick he ever saw was the prettiest dick of all the dicks ever?” he gasped theatrically and Derek swore to god that in his next life, he’d make better life choices.   
“Be that as it may, he doesn’t have a clue, because it’s the only one he saw. For all he knows normal dicks have antlers and he’s dating a freak.” Erica pointed out and what the actual fuck?  
“This conversation just took a turn into the weirdness I refuse to be a part of.” Boyd said, picking up his glass and retreating to the balcony, shutting the door and effectively locking himself out of the apartment.

 

“Just? JUST? This conversation turned weird the moment you guys decided that dicks I have or have not seen are appropriate lunch time topic.” Derek cried in frustration while his friends cackled around him like the proper assholes they were.  
“I am merely saying…Stiles saw his fair share and made an informed decision he liked yours the best. You on the other hand…”Lydia backed Erica up but it was Scott’s surprised gasp that made her pause.  
“His fair share of what?” he asked dumbly and Lydia rolled her eyes.  
“Dicks…Scott, we’re talking about dicks.” She said in an exasperated voice and the floppy haired man turned towards his best friend, eyes wide and confused.  
“You mean…you didn’t tell them?”

 

Stiles jumped from Derek’s embrace and glared daggers at his best friend. “Hush, Scott, We’re talking about Derek here, not me. And so what if Derek only ever slept with me, I am plenty. Aren’t I plenty, Der?” he asked, looking fondly at his boyfriend.   
Derek just shook his head with an amused smile and opened his arms for Stiles to sink back. Stiles always melted against Derek, like he just couldn’t get close enough. 

Derek secretly felt weird surge of pride at how clingy Stiles was. Stiles has always been the open one, the vocal one, the one who had it all figured out. Meanwhile, Derek was still friends with the same people he knew since he was a kid. In fact, he knew Stiles for quite a number of years, too.   
There was always something there, he thinks.   
At least on his side.   
But Stiles was younger than him, Stiles was all about the “next person” in his life and that wasn’t what Derek wanted.   
Turns out, they were both idiots.   
Stiles thought Derek wouldn’t never go for someone like him. 

 

Thank God Erica was always the meddling asshole she is now.   
For past year or so , things have been pretty much perfect.   
Their own little Utopia. 

Stiles whispered against Derek’s chest:”How was your day?”   
Derek hummed and Stiles just snuggled deeper. “It was okay. Same old, same old. Preparing new issue, running around trying to get Isaac to actually deliver his article on time, evading Erica’s way to personal questions, you know, the usual”   
“Everyone wanted to know why you were such a monk, not just me” the blonde piped up. 

“Today on the menu we had: “Why hasn’t Derek hooked around more”, Jackson rolled his eyes. “Wonderful”   
“Huh” Stiles mumbled in Derek’s chest. “Okay, please don’t hate me for taking her side in this but…..Why haven’t you?”   
“You serious?” Derek leaned sideways so he can look at Stiles’ face. 

 

“Well, I mean, its …” Stiles gestured at Derek’s entire self. “You’re the whole package and its pretty weird, even with all your manpain, that you never caved to basic instincts and just…Randomly hooked up at a party or …I don’t know, Der, have you seen you?” Stiles gestured to all the deliciousness that was his boyfriend.   
“Either you tell them or I will” Boyd, always stoic Boyd stood up, towering over both of them, looking straight at Derek. 

“YOU WITHOULD INFORMATION FROM ME?” his girlfriend shrieked from across the room. “Vernon Milton Boyd, you know that three foundations of any relationship are trust , honesty and sharing of important and or humiliating information about our friends. Spill” she ordered. 

“What the F is going on, what does he know?” Stiles was next to turn his eyes towards Derek.   
The man groaned and let his head fall into his hands. “It’s nothing, it happened a million years ago while you guys were at college, it’s not important, let it go”   
“Okay, even I want to know what burly over there is hiding and you know I couldn’t care less about Derek’s kinky mating habits” Jackson said from Lydia’s side. 

“Three years ago when we were still in college, remember that Thanksgiving weekend when Derek visited us? The one where we all got so piss poor drunk we almost died from alcohol poisoning? Well, there was some fraternity party and Derek hooked up with some guy. I believe it was the great Homo Crisis of 2013. It was also his first time with the dude and I specifically remember words ’He did this thing to my ass that made my eyes water’. I pretty much started crying after that so he stopped.” Boyd finished. “So now you know. Stiles is not Derek’s first. He had in fact seen dick before and made an informed decision” 

Before anyone could register what Boyd just said Stiles let out a blood curling scream.  
“OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD” Stiles was screaming at the top of his voice. “YOU ARE THE FUCKING THE TALL DARK AND HANDSOME THAT I RIMMED AT THANKSGIVING ALPHA PI PARTY”

…………………………………………

“What?” several voices echoed around the loft.

 

“I thought the guy you hooked up with was 35!” Scott accused with horror etched all over his features.   
“THAT’S BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS 35”, Stiles was still screaming. “He was obviously older and I couldn’t even remember his face and oh my God, I thought my mind was just projecting shit when I woke up with beard burn all over my thighs. YOU WERE MY ONLY OTHER GUY I EVER SLEPT WITH?” he pointed at Derek.   
Derek jumped up and joined in on the screaming contest:”You were my Big Homo Crisis?”   
“I am so fucking regretting not recording this. Your children would love to see the moment their parents realized they only ever fucked each other. You two are so lame” Jacks snorted and both of the men in question hissed “Shut up!” at him. 

“Hold on” , Lydia stood up. “Okay, I get why you initially had no idea who you hooked up with. That party is a blur, even for me, But it’s been three years, How come it never came up?”   
“Do you really think I wanted you to know I lost my virginity to some random 35 year old at a party?” Stiles yelled at the same time Derek groaned:”What part ofBig Homo Crisis do you not understand?”   
Redhead just rolled her eyes. “Morons”   
“So…That was you.” Derek said barely audible and Stiles nodded.  
“Looks like…yeah…” he said softly and Derek smiled.

“So I guess my decision remains uninformed after all huh?” He teased and Stiles was thrilled to notice there wasn’t a hint of regret in his voice. If anything…he sounded relieved.   
Happy that his dick was the only one he saw.  
He just had to come clean.

 

“Yeah well…so does mine.” He whispered and the collective gasp that reverberated through the room reminded him that his nosy bunch of asshole friends was still very present and very interested.

“What the hell??” Erica blanched.

“What do you mean so does yours??” Lydia almost screamed at him.

“Stilinski you saw more dicks than a urologist!!!” Jackson stated sensibly and it was his douchebaggy voice that snapped him out of his stupor.

“No…no I didn’t. Fuck…just…” he turned to Derek, a soft, pleading smile on his face. 

 

Everyone was silent for a moment. Then Derek cleared his throat. “Can we talk on the balcony?”   
Stiles just nodded and basically ran out of the room. Derek joined him on the terrace and closed the doors behind him. 

 

Before he could say a word, Stiles was steamrolling: “I was in love with you since the moment I saw you in the woods like…a decade ago. And you were…dammit you were this older, gorgeous, perfect guy and you never even looked at me twice and I knew I had to make you see that I wasn’t a kid anymore so I…I made up the men I slept with. To…shit I don’t know. To make you think of me that way…but you still didn’t and then at the party the guy…the guy looked so much like you and he wanted me so I thought fuck it…and well…it was you…”

Derek was staring at him with something unreadable written all over his face and for a split second Stiles thought that he had lost him but then…his lips turned up and his adorable cheeks puffed and his bunny teeth were on full display and he was laughing and Stiles loved him so much it hurt.

“I went with that guy because he looked exactly like you too. The whole Big Homo Crisis was over the fact you were so young and I wanted you more than anything else in this world. Stiles”, he came closer and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “It’s you. It has always been only you”, Derek said and then they were kissing desperately and promising forever and through the haze of kisses and touches and promises they could hear Erica’s dejected sigh.

“Even piss drunk and stupid as shit they manage to be the most nauseatingly cute couple ever. Fuck my life.”


End file.
